Welcome
to the clinical social work practice of Lori A. Bonnevier, MSW, LCSW.

Divorce Sucks!
I know you’re stressed, exhausted, and scared for your children.
I can help you take the best next steps.
As a seasoned custody evaluator and child advocate for more than two decades, I help parents navigate high-conflict custody battles and win the war for their child's health, safety, and well-being. Through my coaching, custody evaluations, courses, and keynotes, I empower parents to make the best next choice for their child while saving time, money, and their sanity.
Welcome
to the clinical social work practice of Lori A. Bonnevier, MSW, LCSW.

Divorce Sucks!
I know you’re stressed, exhausted, and scared for your children.
I can help you take the best next steps.
Welcome to Child-Focused Choices, the clinical social work practice of Lori A. Bonnevier, MSW, LCSW.
As a seasoned custody evaluator and child advocate for more than two decades, I help parents navigate high-conflict custody battles and win the war for their child's health, safety, and well-being. Through my coaching, custody evaluations, courses, and keynotes, I empower parents to make the best next choice for their child while saving time, money, and their sanity.
"The courts throughout Oregon listen to Ms. Bonnevier’s ideas about the best interest of children, and it would behoove parents in high-conflict litigation to do the same."
~ The Honorable Judge Eve Miller
"The courts throughout Oregon listen to Ms. Bonnevier’s ideas about the best interest of children, and it would behoove parents in high-conflict litigation to do the same."
~ The Honorable Judge Eve Miller
Drop the Battle. Win the War that Matters.
Within the pages of this book is a unique opportunity to make choices about your participation in a child custody evaluation. The cast of characters will teach you how to avoid common pitfalls and how to achieve the best outcome. Through this insightful and witty choose-your-own-outcome-style story, I share more than two decades of trade secrets and all the Hints, Hacks, and Hell No’s that will help you win the war that matters.
By the end of the book, you will know how to:
- Protect your child’s emotional health and well-being.
- Acquire resources to manage specific challenges.
- Discern which attorney will hurt or help your efforts.
- Impress the heck out of your evaluator.
- Save your family time and money.
- Keep your sanity and thrive on the other side.
The Choices We Make, Make Us.
Drop the Battle. Win the War that Matters.
Within the pages of this book is a unique opportunity to make choices about your participation in a child custody evaluation. The cast of characters will teach you how to avoid common pitfalls and how to achieve the best outcome. Through this insightful and witty choose-your-own-outcome-style story, I share more than two decades of trade secrets and all the Hints, Hacks, and Hell No’s that will help you win the war that matters.
By the end of the book, you will know how to:
- Protect your child’s emotional health and well-being.
- Acquire resources to manage specific challenges.
- Discern which attorney will hurt or help your efforts.
- Impress the heck out of your evaluator.
- Save your family time and money.
- Keep your sanity and thrive on the other side.
The Choices We Make, Make Us.
"My clients often want to know how to prepare for a custody evaluation. Until You Don’t Have to Crush Your Ex, I was left to hand them dry and complicated reference material. Decades of experience have gone into the authoring of this unique book in which Lori infuses humor and valuable information in a choose-your-own-outcome styled book that is sure to help anyone who is faced with a high-conflict divorce and best interest decisions about the welfare of their child."
~ Lonny Webb, MSW, LCSW
Founder and Primary Clinician
NeuroBehavioral Concepts and Evaluation
"My clients often want to know how to prepare for a custody evaluation. Until You Don’t Have to Crush Your Ex, I was left to hand them dry and complicated reference material. Decades of experience have gone into the authoring of this unique book in which Lori infuses humor and valuable information in a choose-your-own-outcome styled book that is sure to help anyone who is faced with a high-conflict divorce and best interest decisions about the welfare of their child."
~ Lonny Webb, MSW, LCSW
Founder and Primary Clinician
NeuroBehavioral Concepts and Evaluation
"You Don’t Have to Crush Your Ex is that rare gem – a relatable cautionary tale and guidebook all in one. The results for the children when their parents choose the wrong outcome (winning at all costs) are very real and lifelong, mimicking the outcomes we see for other forms of child abuse. This book encourages the reader in a thought experiment where they can do better and witness the outcomes that experts recommend unfold before their eyes in an equally compelling storyline. As soon as I read the manuscript, I began recommending that professional colleagues look for it as a resource; and once it is published, I will be sharing it with my own clients."
~ Wendy Bourg, Ph.D.
Custody Evaluator, Parent Coordinator, High-Conflict Family Therapist
Author of A Child Interviewer’s Guidebook
"You Don’t Have to Crush Your Ex is that rare gem – a relatable cautionary tale and guidebook all in one. The results for the children when their parents choose the wrong outcome (winning at all costs) are very real and lifelong, mimicking the outcomes we see for other forms of child abuse. This book encourages the reader in a thought experiment where they can do better and witness the outcomes that experts recommend unfold before their eyes in an equally compelling storyline. As soon as I read the manuscript, I began recommending that professional colleagues look for it as a resource; and once it is published, I will be sharing it with my own clients."
~ ~ Wendy Bourg, Ph.D.
Custody Evaluator, Parent Coordinator, High-Conflict Family Therapist
Author of A Child Interviewer’s Guidebook